"I have only just started nursing diploma and got a long way to go. I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I just don't really care anymore. I could have done a nursing degree years ago but I knocked it back because it was so expensive and we just couldn't afford it, much like law school. what you can't afford you can't afford and if you can't get work while studying that is worse still. its not like I can or could have been a moonlighting porn star or prostitute to pay for my way through university. I dropped out so many times I could make a tragedy drama of it. I just got ill. weird mysterious viruses causing pain like non-paralysis polo and rash vomiting bugs that lasted for ages. I would like to see others cope with it and see how it feels. worst part is now I am either a really early riser like 3 or 4am or a really late slow to start riser at 8 or 9am and each day its like "fuck hell can't believe I made it alive today?" and I get heart palpitations that are not nice most mornings. "