& ive stayed with him because i dont want to lose our friendship. it is the most important thing in the world. i love him, im just not in love. i feel like we're together out of habit. ive fallen in love with his best friend. i pretend like i want to just be his friend. and that everything is amazing with my boyfriend and i. i would enver do anything to hurt either of them because their friendship with each other, and my friendship with each of them is important. instead of messing things up with us and ruining the friend dynamics im keeping my emotions quiet and making myself miserable
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