"NOTE: I REUPLOADED THIS BECAUSE I AM AUTISTIC AND I DIDN'T KNOW TO PUT THE RANT HERE. Sorry to bother those of you looking for another story. :(
Might as well start somewhere. This is horrendous. I spent no time checking for grammar this exists purely for my own amusement. Be free to criticize it all you like. :)
I know little to nothing about the chemical bonds that occur within our heads inducing attraction between people. However I do know what triggers them, via firsthand experience. Before 6th grade I was like any other kid. Girls are gross, curiously that fragment of my childhood imagination holds true to this day. Just like any other kid I ran and did stupid shit, and I had an unhealthy obsession with dinosaurs and extinct animals. This type of obsession is, what I believe, the catalyst for my bullying. Today I look back and realize that the kids who picked on me were immense dipshits who are undoubtedly working at a Mc Donalds somewhere, but back then I was hurt constantly. Up until 4th grade when I moved I retained a rater polite personality, for I dealt with all onslaughts with cordial dis attachment. Moving to a new place I found everyone to be nice and accepting of me. Oddly enough this triggered my change into a double edged person. I still act cordially with strangers, but among colleagues I could care less. Most people find my cordial side unapproachable and to this day it remains a mild problem coupled with the fact I am rather fat and ugly as shit,( hence my self proclaimed nickname �Turnip�). However my other side, the side in which I state whatever I feel like, has earned me many friends. Back to the issue at hand, I fell in love the first time in 6th grade. As you can imagine a shitty little fat kid like me wasn�t really hot shit with the ladies, however this one girl took pity on me. I personally found her to have an extremely appealing face with round features and a nice smile, however the general opinion was that she met an �average standard,� as for what average means to this day I still do not know, however I fell in love with her because of the kindness she showed to me. In stories often times people grow romantic attachments because of simple things like acts of kindness or acts of bravery. I myself thought this to be total bullshit; however I now realize how true it is. I do not understand the process that goes into this type of thought, however I do know this, I have been affected by it twice counting my 6th grade crush. As a kid and to this day I remain on the lower end of looks. I am not gay so I can�t judge male appearances well, but I know I am far from a handsome guy, a Turnip in comparison. So when this Turnip gets attention form one of the opposite gender for the first time, he started to develop his first true feelings for another person. As a �cordial� person my social life was rather small, I had like five close friends and everybody else knew me as a buddy, nothing more. No contact outside of school reinforced the status of me being on the middle end of popularity. Through observation of my own no one found me to be unlikable, just a bit odd. Anyways I almost never talked to her and when I opened my damn mouth about my feelings, that ship crashed an iceberg and never resurfaced. The next few months were a time of attempted rationalization where upon I drew up many drafts of sa similar story akin to this, however it was the second person I liked that spurred me to write this. The problem with my first love is she was too kind. I know more than one person who has fallen to her charms, yet she refuses to respond to any of them. It is not her fault, however if you ever do read this know that you should be meaner to get your points across, for they certainly fell flat with me. Rather coincidentally love 1 and 2 hit it off shortly after meeting one another outside of my eyes. Now then on to the one I�m hung up on to this moment. The first time I saw her I just figured she transferred, I did not notice anything defining about her aside from her glasses,(my fetish lying therein) and her know it all personality. I understand why I was bullied, know it all bastards should go kill them selves. Strangely I never thought this harshly about her, though I did notice some other feelings akin to that well up towards her from my collages. She isn�t very attractive, dead average at best as far as looks go, and her social aptitude is atrocious. An introvert who can�t read the situation around her for shit,( hence the name fish.) I had history and P.E with her, one of which I used my cordial demeanor, and tho former in which I used my other side. Through the influence of friends of friends we ended up talking more and I ended up opening more and more about my self to her. As we talked it seemed as if she really enjoyed talking to me, standing close and using rather confusing wording. Eventually one of my friends told me to ask her out because we would make a good couple. I had been thinking about this prior and She wasn�t especially hot, she had some personality quirks I hated and she seemed indifferent to what she was hinting at. Now that I think about it the time I spent with her talking about random nothings was the greatest time I had had in any class that year, and she was the person I looked forward to talking to the most at the end and beginning of everyday. One day she brought up past relationships and used that rather �MISLEADING� choice of wording she had always done before hand. The seed of my subconscious had been planted and she was all I could think about. Eventually I did ask her out, but she dodged the subject. To this moment I do not understand how mentally fucking challenged she was. WHEN YOU SAY SHIT LIKE �I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME WHEN I FEEL LIKE DITCHING CLASS BECAUSE YOU COMPLETE ME� OR WHEN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE �YOU WILL DO THIS WITH ME BECAUSE YOU LOVE HANGING OUT WITH ME� SOME PEOPLE MIGHT GET A LITTLE CONFUSED YOU FUCKING AUTISTIC INTROVERTED FUCK. I ASKED YOU OUT BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID YOU BITCH I DON�T CARE IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY EXPERIENCE WITH MEN BEFORE, WITH HOW FUCKING SMART YOU SAY YOU ARE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASCERTAIN WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE FLIRTING WITH SOMEONE, YOU DISABLED WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE. That about sums up my feelings towards her actions, however I still love her. She may be the most socially inept person I�ve ever met, but despite that the fun I had with her was some of the most fun I�ve ever had in my life. I do believe that she said no because of my grotesque appearance, but I cling on to hope that she harbors something for me, otherwise I have lost faith in humanity, for how can someone be so fucking bad at social relations? I still hold on to these feelings and I will keep trying until the introverted piece of shit returns them. Overall I�d say this experience has helped me grow, for I have never looked down upon another of the opposite sex of which I have been infatuated with before. These experiences help us grow as people and I would go through it again, however I really wish it was legal to grow clones of people and then fucking murder them. And that about sums up the current story of the Turnip not knowing what to do to the fish."