"what you don't know
I'm that girl that has many faces, but you only see one. I'm that girl that helps you with your problems but mine are never fixed. I go it alone and try my best, when you're in the sun and happy. I am the person who stands it alone, in the night, in my bed, my blanket between my teeth to quiet my cry. I'm the girl that can hide everything. I'm the one that has all the secrets, a tower of defense, a moat in front of me. I can cross to help you, but I'm not going to burden you. I stay in my daydreams to escape reality, and get angry when I feel bad for myself. I hate myself when I try to help myself because I don't think it will get better. And once a month, I spew all this out on this website so I can fill myself back up with more feelings. I'm a great actor, aren't I? I'm probably a parrot. I repeat and say the thing that need to be, so youll leave me alone. I want help, but I don't want yours. You won't understand, you'll say "what, how could this happen? Aren't you happy with your life? Why are you feeling depressed? "
What you don't realize is I AM DEPRESSED. NOT FEELING DEPRESSED. TO FEEL DEPRESSED IS TO HAVE IT IN ONE MOMENT. TO BE IS TO BE AND TO FEEL IS TO FEEL. DO NOT MIX THEM UP.
i am not the same as you
i am the girl who is not like you and your feelings
we are different and that is that, if you cant understand that, you can not help me"