"to my ex "E"
It has been 5 years since we last spoke. You came into my life after a messy divorce and I was so low that suicide even escaped me. I came into your life after your issues with your ex. You claimed I made you happy. You made me happy. When you moved to your new city, you flew me to see you and I did it again several more times.
Then you accused me of cheating. I was so loyal to you. You claimed I left you broke. I wired you $2,000 then empited my account again for your furniture.
Then you lost your job and blamed me. How was I responsible for your company to close? I dide everything possible to help you.
Then you lost your friend in a car wreck. I was 1,000 miles away and it was my fault? How so? Then you said the lines that killed me:
"I loved him more than I could have ever loved you. If you were here coming to see me, you'd be dead and i'd be fine with that."
Who says that? I was so unhinged I said in the heat of the moment that I regret and have since. My ex wife never said what you said to me and I know no man told you the negative stuff I told you. We never spoke since.
But I've missed you. You are the most beautiful woman I ever know. You could liven up a room by showing up. You are strong, stronger than you let yourself be in 2009. I hope my negative comments pushed you to be stronger. If I brought you down more, then my God caste my soul aside to never be forgiven.
I did move on. It took 4 years but a woman gambled on me. But she found out how much you meant to me by accessing my emails and reading my draft email begging for forgiveness. She saw 'our' pictures in Chicago. She said 'She is gorgeous and full of life.' She asked me if I would give anything to make things right with you and I said 'yes.'
We now have a daughter. My new wife said "do things right for this 'E', (you), me, and our families how good you really are in life." My new wife loved your name that she named our daughter after you against my wishes but says that you, 'E' are "the woman who picked me up at my worst and as such you are an angel and a godsend. It would only be appropriate to name our baby after you."
And yes I do apologize sincerely for those words I said to you. Too bad you refuse to speak to me but I accept your silence. I wish you could meet the baby named after you. She is beautiful. Just like her namesake.