" Sometimes pervert
I’m 39 and not too attractive because of some birth defects. I’m a pretty decent guy in most situations. I feel bad about this confession sometimes. I like going out on the town for events…concerts, local festivals, art walks, poetry slams, or just to hang out at a bar for a drink. I usually go by myself. Sometimes when I’m bored, I will catcall girls or creepily hit on girls just to get a reaction and be rejected. Rejection kinda turns me on, hence why I have went to dance clubs to watch hunky men dance with hot girls that I can’t get. I’ve fantasized about going up a girl and telling her she has “nice jugs” or something just for a reaction. I also fantasize about doing this shirtless. I’d ask for brutal honesty about my looks, but that’s asking too much, I think. I sometimes take pictures of butts and boobs…even during the day. Especially when I’m caught or make a girl too uncomfortable, I feel really bad later. This isn’t a healthy cycle."