"I'm so scared about how powerfully I feel
I've known this guy for a couple months (we perform in productions together)and got to really get to know him over the past 2 weeks and I'm falling for him. Like that one quote "Slowly but all at once." We've spent hours together watching movies and talking and listening to music because we had to room together during our show week. And we connected right away, we mess with each other like a coupla dopes. Pillow fights, pranks, tickling. But we've also had serious convos as well.
For some reason he's told me about his romantic past and how he has a bit of a reputation as a playboy but swears he's not and when we've hung out he sometimes makes comments about how hot some girls are and how he likes to impress chicks. This makes me so frustrated because it makes me think he's just acting sweet and caring towards me to get in my pants. (Which will not happen)But the other day when we carpooled and we got lost and were laughing he made a comment like "We go so well together." And he also probes me about my romantic past and who I like all the time. God, while we stopped somewhere for a bite late one night he was just looking at me and said "You have very pretty eyes." I about lost it. He also always finds times to just sit with me and ask me how I'm feeling and if I need to talk. I literally have wanted multiple times over the past few days to just grab his face and make out. That's our tension sometimes.
I got the strongest feeling the other day that he was urging me to REALLY tell him what I felt. I've been super honest with him except I'm BURSTING to tell him that I like him but I'm terrified because of the possibility of his just wanting to get in my pants and because...theres a 6 year age difference between us. Im 18 he's 24. I'm also supposed to be going to college soon, he's gonna be going off to work around the country. I'm starting my life as an independent young woman taking on the world and he's been through college, drinks sometimes, slept with girls - he's been living his life. UGH BUT THERE IS SOMETHING BETWEEN US AND IT KILLS ME. I feel so naive sometimes around him because I can FEEL him probing into my soul and I just get all warm and gooey and lose the ability to speak when he asks me "So what's going through that noogan of yours? I see the wheels turning." Should I even say anything to him? GOD"