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"i want a job i did a uk nanny certificate and all i want is some part time work. i just wish i could find someone to trust in me for some work. i want to work part time. in office, or retail or anything humanable. i need the money. all i am expected to do is pay for my parents cruises and holidays all the time, food, pet bills, my own medical bills often come last. my education is expensive. i have a aunty who won $6 or million in lotto and her husband abused me and so have her kids and I just don't trust their daughter anymore. she has terrible children. at first I thought it was not nice of my aunty to be saying her granddaughter needed a kick up the bum all the time but she has been expelled 3 times from school and is not a nice person from what i have seen and how can you expect her to be with parents and grandparents like that. all my cousin does is show off at police men and other men when her father has been in jail, half of his family were in jail, he molested at me and my sister. they were in court cases and he was attacking people. my aunty says she doesn't miss him. I think of all the times i babysat those kids and i never once treated them less for what their father was. and I can see the mistake I made now. I had an attitude like "well if dad can't get work with all his skills and experience who the hell will employ me if i am some loser ugly kid who dropped out of school after being sexually attacked by a great uncle and I collapsed at school one day because someone put glass in the mince. i can't even look at stuffed capsicums anymore without fear and terror and trauma. I just want a job. i wish i had a zillion dollar walk in closet but gee it would be nice to be appreciated and loved and valued and earning money. i blame trevor for this because i am sure mr lanepain-in-the ass has been bad mouthing me. I worked during lunch breaks he doesn't even know about because he was too busy banging his wife at lunch breaks and the whole office was left to me to run while they were out partying. the same with other jobs. when I worked at the Mercurse hotel. I worked thru lunch breaks and didn't stop and I had a whole 24 room floor to manage to myself with penthouse suits and my boss trusted me. I did heaps of things and I want a bloody job! "

Pride, Hate,

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