"I don't like women pushing their value system on me. I don't have to like doing spastic looser charity work and I don't want to be remembered for that at all. I don't really care anymore what I am remembered for at all. but certainly not charity work, I did my bit like most people do. but its not that important as far as I am actually concerned, I only really care about my parents and cats and my own self. and learning to walk over others and be as rude as hell to everyone as I can be in the process cuz the last 45 years I think I have been way too kind and gentle and too forgiving and rudeness really gets you somewhere ! look at how its worked for others. no one remembers you for kindness or gentleness and honesty. what a load of twatt! I wanted to be rich and a good career doing things inventing and discovering and changing and speaking for the good and being a mother and everything that I am not. so I think tis all too late for me to have an opinion or value on anything. none of the single virgins and nice girls are gonna get ahead now, they will all end up like me and be hated for telling the truth about being abused. that was my biggest crime and my sisters admitting we were molested and asking for help from church or doctors or legally. I mean I have really learnt some lessons about not being welcome and taking the backseat and I think the way of the future is people marrying up after divorce so I have no where literally to go and I no longer give a stuff either. I just don't care how others feel much. I don't mind insulting people. look how the queen can insult people and get away with it and be rude its done wonders for her. and bowie and sheen and popes and heaps of people. your a looser if your nice and honest without a drama bullshit hyped up media tacky z grade script. its not like people will give a stuff if i need to work or feed my pets or that I have nothing and no one to love and they won't like my childrens stories. and I have learnt to accept peoples prejudice and biggotry as a given now. I am glad its them being biggotry nasty people because it is them and I am not them. and they need to be kindly reminded of that everyday. I once had a dream and I no longer do have a dream at all. no positivity at all in me. I don't trust anyone and I don't even like anyone. I am not being nice to people unless i want to be. I ignore a lot of people now. I don't answer phones for years, never answer my mobile and I give wrong or old emails to people deliberately and sometimes people ring and they say "hello and I say hello" and hang up. I just don't know how to use these new phones today. its like aliens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTc3PsW5ghQ I will tell people off and ignore them and do the opposite of what i say i do especially with companies that don't do what I want asap. and stupid companies this dumb company that keep saying I owe them $100 and everytime I ask them to take it out or send it in the mail normal post on paper and give invoice and stuff they never do so i think they are just making it up. its not normal to act the way these spastics act. I just don't care who I offend and i only care about me and my pets and my parents and i don't care about others or men or friends or anyone else. i hate people. I have hate me sometimes and if I don't want to do what others want i don't. and now when people are rude I go the bastards. people rude to me then they don't get my help. like with the fashion parade, i just don't care after i was upset to the point of being ill. I never did that to others. and bugger people that is what mum and dad say. bugger giving to charities mum says. bugger helping them and they have a hide wanting to take money out of pensioners accounts when they should go ask the companies. I am only on a single pension and I doubt there is any man in my future or baby or success. I just live hour to hour and bugger feelings and i am sick of people and their stupid dirty hugs. my parents agree with that. bloody sick of being expected to like people and fit in. we don't even bother to fit in with family. mum said bugger aaron on going out for xmas the little bastard expects us to just wait around for him and he is so ignorant yelling at his mother to shut up and his disrespect bugger the little spoilt shitty mongrel. he can rot in hell. "