I feel so helpless. I have no control of my life and am too cowardly...

to take it. I always think of myself as someone who stands up for themselves.....at least that's how I imagine my story characters to be. I have a very active imagination and create a lot of stories. I love creating strong female characters in my image because I know that I'll never truly be one......and that worries me. My family is unsupportive and only makes me feel like I'm not capable of thinking for myself. My boyfriend isn't easy to talk to because he just wants to see me as a happy person and doesn't like to acknowledge that I'm depressed. And to make things worse and more frustration....I'm starting to seriously question my sexuality. One character I've created is a homosexual women with a supportive family and a partner. And I wish I was truly her....because all my other characters I've created don't have families. and have unidentified emotions .