=/ I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be so happy and carefree.....

but I'm not I've changed but no one noticed. I act like I'm confident when I'm really not. I act like I'm happy, I put a fake smile on everyday. Why can't I just truly be happy? Why don't i f****** love myself? I don't get it. People say I'm pretty but I don't believe that. I'm so insecure of my under eye circles and I feel so awkward when people comment my body. Why do I feel this way? I think I'm Bi. I don't want to admit it though, I'm in denial. I've watched p*** before and it got me h**** and I feel horrible.. almost as if I'm doing something wrong and I AM. My parents would kill me if they knew that I was bi, it's not in my culture to be bi. I'm supposed to be straight and get married to a guy that's the same race as me. I have a boyfriend, I think he knows that I'm Bi, but i'm not sure. I love him so much! How can I say that thought when I don't even love myself. I feel like everyone hates me. I don't know why.. I feel like I can't be myself around certain people. I feel like I have to act in a certain way so people can accept me for who I am. Why am i living this fake life? Why do I think that people don't like me? It's not like I did anything wrong.

By Anonymous on General,