"Last September I made a vows to get away from everyone I knew. But everyday my heart grows distant away from my church, and all that used to matter to me -I guess being alone with your thoughts makes you shut down and live in a world where your numb and nothing can touch you or hurt you or get close to you . And I am caught up in spiteful thoughts hate actions. I am not acting as a real person should. And so many men that extend their arms for short lived with zero comfort. I can't get out on the pain. And for now I don't want to. I don't hear my conscience. I don't feel it either. I am so alone. the violence is cutting me apart."