pride in being the best dog owner. I rescued my current dog at 2 years old and helped her get over her past trauma and abuse and learn to love humans and other dogs again. She has been the greatest part of my life for 7 years now. But I’m a cocaine addict and I’ve recently been using everyday alone in my house. I have been traumatizing my dog with my sudden changes in behavior and my constant paranoia. My dog has endured severe anxiety from this. I apologize to her every night and try to put her at ease. I say I’ll never do this to her again. Yet there I go the following day, using again. And it’s been like this for 3 months straight. The incredible pup that I once saved and rehabilitated back into a world of love and cuddles, is the very same dog I’m now completely traumatizing with my drug abuse. The poor thing shakes when I suddenly become a different person. Her eyes are completely glossy, and her pupils are completely dilated. I’m the biggest piece of shit dog owner in the world, and I can’t stop what I’ve been doing. My poor sweet girl. This is not ok in any way whatsoever. I hope that by confessing and reading this I’ll snap out of it and realize just how much damage I’m doing to my sweet doggo. The poor thing. Imagine you rely on your master for everything and trust him to always keep you safe for 7 years. All of the sudden, he becomes the biggest monster in your life. She can’t speak but if she could she would tell me that she’s so scared and traumatized by the sudden change in her owner. I’m the worst person in the world. I don’t deserve her.
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